by Ben on January 1 at 8:45PM
Judging by the last 4 years under the leadership of Isiah Thomas and James Dolan, there is about as much reflection on past failures at MSG as there is accountability. Rather, Knicks management likes to look ahead, focusing on how best to save face and deflect blame while not caring in the slightest about winning or the fans.
With the holiday season coming to a close, now is as good a time as any to look back on the wonderful things Zeke and Jazzy Jim have given Knicks fans over the last four years.
1. Stephon Marbury - If you like losing basketball, then Marbury is your man at the point. Before coming to NY, Steph had built an extensive losing resume, from alienating Kevin Garnett and breaking up a young, talented T'Wolves squad to winning a paltry 0 playoff series. Isiah recognized this and brought his preternatural ability to fail to the Knicks. Over the past four years Starbury has registered 0 wins in playoff games and 1 remarkable scene of infidelity in a truck while killing any team chemistry that has sprouted up from time to time. Luckily, we still have 2 more seasons of him at about 21 million per year...
2. Steve Francis - Because having Stephon Marbury on the roster wasn't enough the Zeke pulled a savvy trade to create the losingest backcourt possible at the highest cap number imaginable. Trevor Ariza and Jalen Rose's expiring contract were traded away to acquire "The Franchise." Like they say at MSG "you've got to give something, to get nothing."
3. Eddy Curry - For the bargain basement price of two first round picks, two second round picks and enough bad contracts to ensure zero cap flexibility for the forseeable future, the Knicks received a "franchise center" with a history of weight and heart problems. To his credit, Curry did begin to come into his own a bit last year averaging 19 points and 7 rebounds a game. Fortunately, Isiah refused to trade him at the peak of his value this summer, instead opting to pair him with Zach Randolph to form an interior defensive presence almost as intimidating as
Steve Nash sans the shot blocking ability.
4. Jerome James - According to Isiah, Big Snacks was acquired for his "girth" not his ability to consistently fill a DNP spot. According to NYC buffets, business has never been better.
5. Jared Jeffries - Using the familiar negotiating strategy of outbidding himself, Isiah was able to sign bonafide offensive blackhole Jared Jeffries to an untradeable five year contract in 2006. Two years and roughly 10,000 unnecessary pump fakes later, Knicks fans are glad to have a guy who brings such "intangibles" as missing layups and being an overrated defender to their roster.
6. No All Stars - The natural progression from Isiah's free agent signings and trades bring us to the fact that the Knicks haven't had a player appear in the All Star Game since 2001. Conversely, several Knick players and personnel have appeared in court during that time...
7. Anucha Browne Sanders - Winner of the largest payout ever for a game of HORSE at MSG, 11.6 million dollars.
8. Head Coach Isiah Thomas - From the makers of General Manager Isiah Thomas, comes an inept head coach with no control of his players and a 41-70 record over the last two seasons. Puzzle piece pins sold separately.
9. Double Digit Losses - One of the key accessories included with Head Coach Isiah are blowouts as the Knicks lead the league with 14 double digit losses this season. I was going to research the number of double digit defeats over the course of Thomas' tenure but decided it was best if the loaded gun on the table remains next to the half-empty bottle of Jameson rather than my temple.
10. Isiah's Contract Extension - This post has focused primarily on Isiah; however, it wouldn't be fair to James Dolan if we didn't mention his contributions to Knicks fans. Not only can the fat man play some serious jazz music and grow a goatee but he also appears to have an uncanny sense for detecting "evident progress" where there is none. Since signing Isiah to a 3 year extension worth 24 million dollars late last season, the Knicks are 12-36. Thus, everytime you look to the Knicks sidelines and see Isiah with his head in his hands or staring blankly from the bench you know who to thank.
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