The original plan was to liveblog...cuz I'm THAT original.  But my (hangover induced) nap went right up until tipoff, so the first quarter saw me finally eating.  Finally eating as Boki's shot finally falls?  A sign of things to come?  And if I happened to make myself breakfast for dinner, and one of the eggs had 2 yolks...for what would THAT be a harbinger?

This could potentially be the last Nets game of the season.  So I'm just gonna stream of consciousness my way through this thing.  Because fuck structure, that's why! 

Really, I'm encouraged.  The boys have brought their killer instinct tonight.  Right, Vince?

Er...right?

"We play to win, not to lose."

I see.

I am glad to see Marcus has woken up. 

And Vince seems to be taking a little effort in the general direction of the basket.  Can we continue this trend throughout the game?  Stay tuned.

Missed layups.  Again.  Really.

So Daniel Gibson, huh?

Ohh, I see we're getting "ill-advised jump shot" RJ tonight.  Now with limited edition playoff sound bites!

"We understand that if we get those same shots, nine times out of 10, they go in."

I have to say, if you had told me at the beginning of the season that Antoine Wright would be getting substantial playoff minutes, I would have laughed.  And really, it's still funny.  HILARIOUS.

EDDIE HOUSE!!!!!!

So...close, and awful, again, huh?   Something tells me we'll be back in "warm bath" territory again tonight....

Varejao is just silly looking.  He gets mad and you just want to giggle and then pat him on the head and go, "Yes...I know.  If you behave though, after the game you can have a cookie..." and then him go, "COOKIE!!!!!!!!!" and grin like an idiot and run away.  I don't know what I'm saying here.   It makes sense in my head.  (It's scary in there.)

I see Sasha just sitting on the bench wishing hateful shit on Gibson.  Also thinking, "I am soooo much prettier than him anyway.  Bitch."

Dear Vince,  DUNK IT. Love, Becky.

p.s. Missed layups are for assholes.

I haven't seen the lob passes work out very well for the Nets lately.  You want to say not to mess with that shit when a game is close, but then you also want to say not to mess with it in a blow out for poor sportsmanship or whatever too.  It's a Catch-22!  A moral dilemma!  really, just give it a shot all the time.  I don't actually care.

Do I seem despondent?  If so, probably it is because I am.  I just don't see this ending well.   Because Mikki Moore is being relied upon as The Guy, and Jason Kidd is being relied upon to guard EVERYONE.  He cannot do everything, people.  Especially when "everything" includes guarding guys who are like a foot taller than him.

Oh, and do I seem incoherent?  Yeah, that I have no excuse for. Too much drink, not enough sleep, I fail at life, again.

So...Josh Boone = slightly more offense-gifted Jason Collins?  Typing that out makes me think, "Man, when DID Twin get so crappy?"  I swear, he used to be at least SERVICEABLE.  

You know, I don't blame anyone for skipping this game and tuning in just for Spurs/Suns.  That game is going to be wayyyyy better.  In fact, I think the Suns run more without Amare.  And I think the RAJA has a huge game.  He brings the intensity.  

Well, it's halftime.  We get a Boki interview.  Sweeeeet.

Stephanie Ready, you are useless: "Is there any pressure on this Nets team in this game?"  You mean BESIDES it being an elimination game?  I hope she sucks dick better than Pam Oliver, because otherwise I don't see how she's gonna compete around here.

Awwww, EJ's family.  That's legitimately cute.  

And they said I didn't have a heart.  

Man, I don't even have anything witty for you in between the action.  I just want to lie down and pretend I cannot move.  So we're going with that.  

My kidney hurts.

If I hear the term "forearm shiver" one more time, I am going to do something drastic.  Well, not really, but I am going to feel mildly annoyed.  MILDLY ANNOYED.

And I don't blame the TNT crew for only talking about the Suns/Spurs game.  I guess I wouldn't want to talk about the Nets either.  'Tis my cross to bear.  

Is that weird guy in the pink blazer with the frosted tips and cheesy 'stache at the Q real?  Or is he a gimmick?  Like there was that one Nets fan who did the "N-E-T-S NETS NETS NETS" chant and then put on the floppy hat and ran up the steps of whatever 200-level section that was.  And HE was like a gimmick, sort of, right?  But he made sense, I think, maybe.  If cheesy 'stache guy is a gimmick, I have to admit...I don't get it.  Right over my head.  And cheesy 'stache guys are usually a point of heightened interest for me.  

By the way, I didn't think it was possible, but Shannon Elizabeth's acting got WORSE from the actual movie to the DirecTV commercial.  Other than that Chevy nonsense, is there a worse ad campaign out there these days?  Bits of movies that were awful originally made more awful plus ruining movies that were good originally?  Bad form.  Bad.

I really really really would have liked to be an impartial observer of the Nets team field trip to the Indians game Tuesday night.  That had to be a TIME.

Oh mannn.  Bloody LBJ up to start the half and motivate his ass.  That's exactly what you need to do.  Guh.

Mikki Moore's shooting stance is just so ridiculous.  His knees buckle and he goes all pigeon-toed.   

Sasha tried to bring it hard to Mikki there and threw him on the ground...he hacked him!  HACK!  Reggie thinks it was a good foul.  The refs think it was a flagrant.  Eat it, Reg.

No, a 15 point lead is NOT comfortable with this team, thanks for asking.

How about a 20 point lead?  (Shhhhhhhhh!!!)

All the shots are falling, and it's like...I'm sitting here wishing some of them wouldn't because like they need to be spread out!  Save some for a Potential Game 6!

Are the Cleveland fans booing their team? 

Hee, "They're getting whipped."  Because who DOESN'T like a little S&M with their playoff basketball?

Speaking of S&M, the money quote from Lawrence Frank:

"The whole year we've dealt with different things," coach Lawrence Frank said. "Our motto ought to be, 'If it ain't rough, it ain't right.'"

Donyell Marshall airball- can life get better? I submit that it cannot.

Seriously, Mikki Moore's shooting stance.  Is there anything more awkward?  Other than, you know, that time at that bar with that guy and his ex-girlfriend and his soon-to-be new girlfriend.  That was maybe more, or at least equally awkward.  

Can I skip the 4th quarter to watch "Lost"?  No?  But people are going to DIE tonight!  OK, I'll put a tape in.   I've been avoiding the spoiler website all week, man.  ALL WEEK.

Is it weird that I do the little "3" sign every time someone hits one?  Like the little circle with the thumb and forefinger, with the middle, ring and pinky fingers up.  I think I just outnerded myself.

OK seriously, think about this: this series involves substantial minutes for Mikki Moore, Antoine Wright, Daniel Gibson and Donyell Marshall.  Somehow that just doesn't SOUND sexy.

You know what sounds sexy?  Fig Newtons.  NOT, in fact, cookies.

I swear I'm still watching...trying not to force the funny though.  Cuz like...I'm just not FEELING it, you know?  It's hot in here and I'm tired and cranky and...man, I'm whiny.  

Lime. Lemon. Lemonlimelemonlime.  My brain is fried and I don't even have exams to blame this time.

I really hate when I make a bet, and I feel it's win-win because if the Nets win, then that's good, but if the Nets lose, it means I don't have to do something that I said I would but really don't want to as the terms of the bet. It really ends up being lose-lose.  

Of course, a 15 point lead is VERY tenuous with this team.  

Halfway through the 4th quarter and no one on either team has a field goal.  Now THAT, is sexy.  0-9 for the Nets...such a great game to be watching.  Nets fandom ROCKS.

Umm....uh oh.  Did I say "tenuous"?  Apparently I meant "fucked."

Antoine Wright: defensive sparkplug!

My dad always says he is never comfortable with a lead 10 or less at any point, even the last minute...and OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH LEBRON'S FOOT???

Oh, wait, he's fine.  Vince...is that you? 

Your missed free throws and 5 point quarter- BRING IT! 

Welp, it was not pretty by ANY means, but the Nets will LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.  You like how I just dropped some drama on your head?  I'm holding off on the optimism now though, because that seemed like the "every other game we take off" strategy the Cavs have used all season.  So every other game means...yup, they're coming to play on Friday night.  

Man, could I hook for Game 6 tickets?  I don't think I could.  Damn self respect.   

Ummm...GO NETS!!! 

Yeah, I am really looking forward to Suns/Spurs.  Let's do THAT.