Something about Zo shilling for this wack TNT "drama" "Heartland" just seems...I dunno, wrong. No charity involved. Just a peripheral "Hey, I had a kidney transplant and this show is about like heart transplants and stuff maybe...I don't really know, they just asked me to do it and I'm an attention whore so I said yes!" Get bent, Zo. Point at the sky some more. Dick.
And if TNT thinks throwing that asshole in some commercials is going to gain them any viewers, they are sorely mistaken. They would be MUCH better off using the Fox method of repeating one commerical with one line over and over and over again that will catch on like a crappy pop song and make people want to watch in spite of themselves, ala "His father...is the District...ATTORNEY!" My roommate and I watched all 3 episodes of "Skin", thank you very much and it was good. Well, maybe not, but we watched, and Olivia Wilde is ridiculously hot.
You're welcome.

Speaking of ridiculously hot, the guy from the latest Locke flashback is in "Heartland," so maybe I'll watch anyway. Mmmmm...Patrick J. Adams. Sounds Irish. I like Irish.
And while I'm talking commercials, is it just me or does the new USA Basketball commercial play out like a ransom video note? "I am very excited to play for my country. I am being treated very well. Please do what these men ask and I will not be harmed."
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Last time I checked, Zo's got a ring and he's a badass. Jason Kidd does not and he has a retarded kid that looks like the character in 'Tim and Eric's Awesome Show'. I hope my Heat plays your Nets in the playoffs and absolutely annihilates you guys - again.
Love ya!
As someone who watched the Heat-Knicks battles of the 90's, let me be the first to say this: "Zo is so not a badass".
Maybe by laid back Miami standards ("hey, he looks good in a tight shirt, he's so awesome"), but I think we all remember what a loser he looked like when he attempted to throw down with Larry Johnson. Granted Grandmama didn't look so smooth himself...
I would put my money on the wifebeater in a fight over Zo....
I never said Zo did not have a ring, or that JKidd would be more suitable a spokesman.
I just said Zo was a douchebag. He is, and I remain correct.
And of course by "I hope my Heat plays your Nets" I can only assume you mean "Please oh please do not let the Heat get swept out of the first round."
You and stopmikelupica sound like a bunch of crybabies...get a ring, then talk to me, ok?
As far as shitting on Miami 'standards', I'll have you know that wearing tight shirts and having a dope bod (of which the latter I possess and you probably don't), entails you to some SERIOUSLY delicious Miami 'talent' - something which you probably know very, very little about, Mikey, since you spend your days on every single fucking sports blog waxing poetic from Deadspin to Dorkfest or whatever the fuck else you read. As the great Lou Reed once said: 'My week beats your year'.
Incidentally, he probably would have busted Grandmama's FACE IN had your fuckin' idiot of a coach not been draped around his leg during said fight. God, everyone in Miami had a good laugh over that while we all did coke, fucked beautiful Hispanic girls and admired our awesome tans.
I should also add that I am FULLY AWARE that the only reason I like Zo is because he has been the heart and soul of that Heat team for over a decade. If he were on any other team, I'd think he's a total asshole.
But he's Zo, he lives in Miami, he's 'serious', he's 'focused', i love his oily biceps, and i LOVE HIM.
Deal with it.
Ah, Roger, like I said many years ago to Lou Reed backstage at a Gil Scott-Heron reading, while we were taking turns doing nasty things to your mom, "My night beats your summer, Lou!" Then he laughed, and he held up his crack pipe, and said "Ceci n'est pas une pipe".
Then he blow out some crack smoke into you mom's vajayjay, and nine month later... Roger!
So really, you're not quoting Lou, you are quoting Lou misquoting me. Anyway, I'm off to wax poetically on every other sports blog out there, enjoy the Miami scene, it never gets old, mate....







Aww, a new blog to persecute, err, comment on. How lovely (rubs hands together).
I have not seen the USA Basketball commercial, but I love the analogy. If you're going to continue to pump out analogies like that, I shall save my vitriol unti the Nets play the Cavs in Round 2.